Today was a fabulous day/ what a week ahead

Nothing feels better than moving stuff off your plate. It feels so good to check things off the list and finish them.

Ahh. I just want to enjoy this feeling for a few minutes. It doesn't last forever.

As a sidebar: my sister is getting married this weekend!

Naturally, it's going to be an incredibly busy week; it will whirr by. I am happy, I am sad, I am excited, I am nervous, I am energized, I am exhausted; I am a bit of everything — but all the good feelings are winning out!

This is one of those periods in life when you just feel things moving forward in good ways. I love the fall. Everything feels fresh with new possibilities and beginnings. Anticipation for the year ahead of you.

September: so far you haven't disappointed...

If today you happened to pass a girl freezing her butt off on a bench by the water

That may have been me, eating my lunch, in my favourite spot. Weather be damned! I'm not ready to give up my spot yet :)

That's all I got

:p

Lots on the go!

Sometimes it's better to just turn the brain off.

No more thinking ahead; I just want to live in the moments right in front of me.

I don't want to anticipate anything: good or bad.

Today is my day to just ride the wave.

Ugh

Cheap chocolate isn't known as the good stuff for a reason

Who do you think would win in a race between a seahorse and a flounder fish?

Sometimes I like random questions. There's only so much you can say to "how was your day?", "what did you do today?", "what are your plans for the weekend?", "did you have a nice weekend?" etc.

They're fine, informative questions... if not, perhaps, slightly overused.

It's just nice to sometimes be thrown a curve ball. A little bit of whimsy.

Who do you think would win?

My money's on the seahorse, no wait — the flounder fish! Actually, I have no idea (and I spent waaay too long trying to find the answer on Google... :)

Beautiful, just beautiful

I've always loved this song and this is another great version of it. It's a terrific song for a late night listen, don't you think?

I'm a trainwreck sometimes

Even when I'm doing things I'm like "don't do it!", "shut up!", "stop talking", "let it go" — do I listen? Not as often as I wish I did.

Grr.

Man! I got up on the wrong side of this week...

Drama Queen

I never considered myself one, but we all have our moments.

I can get myself into a huff over small things. Breathe. In and out. Annnnddd... okay, back to myself. Mostly, anyways.

What would I do if I had real things to worry over? My goodness, my issues are so small in comparison.

Okay, still valid, but small.

A good stress-cry goes a long way. Oh, and thank God for understanding moms.

How did we get here?

Eesh. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could turn back time. Un-know things, as it were. Redo conversations and reactions. Remain aloof. Remain ignorant. But can you hold off the tide forever? Can you ever actually not know and still be present in your interactions, in life? Burying your head in the sand isn't a way of life, but sometimes taking the full shock of the wave is a tough transition.

Onward solider. Life awaits.

Other people make life messy

They also make life worth living.

When should you walk into the lion's den and when should you take the quickest exit?

Have you ever been in that uncomfortable situation where a topic comes up or a comment is made that you either completely disagree with or find offensive?

Do you say anything?

Do you challenge them? Purposely stay quiet? Quickly exit the room?

When should you stand up for what you believe in and when should you just respect a difference of opinion and leave it at that?

I have been in many of these situations. Most of the time I don't say anything. At most, I offer a different way of seeing something, but I don't get into a nitty gritty deep discussion or aggressive contest of opinions.

Sometimes I feel bad that I don't say anything, although I'm also of the opinion that it's probably not worth saying something to someone whose ears are closed.  Of utmost consideration before saying anything is who is speaking and when and where they are speaking. It's often not the time or place.

Plus, there's no use throwing your pearls before swine, as the saying goes...

The clichés irk me where they didn't use to

When did I become this picky person who pulls apart plot points and critiques the chemistry between characters and the flow of the story and the character arcs and the believability of the story?

I feel like I just can't enjoy movies the same way anymore.

I still love the items on my tried and true craptastic film list. I still have cheesy predictable movies that I love, it's just becoming harder and harder for new films to make the list.

Hollywood — would you make a good movie already? I'm tired of the B-storyline being sold as an A film... or maybe it's just me?

Why are first dance songs always slow?

My friend told me it's so that the husband can win brownie points with the wife (which made me laugh).

I suppose it's true women care about these things more then men do. Slow songs are generally more romantic. Plus, no one wants to flail about to a fast song with all eyes on them, or to have those awkward movements recorded for posterity on camera.

Come to think about it, I may have just answered my own question...

Sign I'm not as young as I used to be?

Apparently there are consequences to staying up to almost 12:30 a.m. and then getting up at 5:15 a.m.

Today it was nausea.

Bummer.

Who's right?

Have you ever had arguments that boil down to people remembering the situation differently? They are fairly common but I especially dislike them because they always seem to end without resolution.

Who's to say who's right?

Sometimes it's just different impressions of the same experience. You might agree on the players and dialogue, but not on the tone or intention of the conversation.

Communication is an interesting minefield of missteps and triumphs. Especially now in this day and age, because let's face it — emoticons leave something to be desired. I can't for the life of me understand if I should read behind the words, or take them at face value. Sometimes you can ask, sometimes you'd rather not. Like I said — an interesting minefield and depending on the conversation partner, at times easier or harder to navigate.

I am fascinated by Harper Lee

She wrote one novel.

One novel that won the Pulitzer Prize.

One novel that still sells millions of copies a year.

One novel with rich characters and textures and layers.

One novel with a poignant message.

One novel that says everything she wanted to say.

One novel yes, but what a novel.

You gotta be

Dear weekend,

thank you for arriving just on time.

3 things I learned this week

1. Cheap shoes = sore feet (so elementary and yet...)
   
2. If it looks like it's going to rain, you probably shouldn't take a walk at lunch... without a raincoat...or an umbrella...especially when you have a meeting after lunch...
   
3. Texting is not my special skill. I have a clumsy tendency to send half finished sentences. 

Shh...

I think I like books more than I like reading. I love book covers and titles and the ideas behind them. I love strong characters and plot lines and library-browsing. I love holding books and stacking books and talking about books, but sometimes when I sit down to read the actual book, I'm less interested.

Of course, it certainly depends on the book and it's not always the book's fault. I'm convinced it's my impatience. Most books work into a story. The prize is sticking around long enough to get to the moment where you are no longer consciously reading, but are completely absorbed into the words on the page. Those are books worth reading. Unfortunately, not all books (classic or otherwise) are worth sticking it out for.

Compliments

Someone called me beautiful the other day and I have to say, it made me feel very flattered. What's more (and if I'm being completely honest) I may have walked a little taller today because of it. Why do we hold back compliments so often instead of passing them on? Why the hesitation to share a kind word?

I am not going to go into the whole debate about why what someone says about you or how they perceive you should affect how you feel and la-di-la-di-da. We all know it, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, compliments are awesome and I for one am not above liking to hear one every so often.

Just a thought

When you don't feel social, it's probably a good thing to avoid so-called "social media".

When you do feel social, it's probably a good idea to make the first move and say hello, otherwise those unsocial online individuals will not extend the greeting and you'll be left wondering why.

I am convinced

No one else even comes  close to capturing and delivering the essence of this song as heartfelt, heartbreaking, simple and sweet as Ms. Audrey Hepburn. Her version is far and away my favourite.

Ray LaMontagne

I love the sound of your voice. A lot.

All I'm saying is

People make time for the things they want to do. People find money for the things they want to see and places they want to go and things they want to buy.

The "I'm just too busy" line grows a little stale 6 months down the line.

The "I don't have any money" line grows a little weak when you and I both know I have eyes to see the other things you're buying.

If you're not a priority, you'll know it. That's all I'm saying...

Take note

Something I learned tonight: don't start a large cleaning project in your room 2 hours before you plan on going to bed. Inevitably you are left with the following dilemma: stay up even later and keep working on it, or push and pile things on the floor and nooks and crannies of your room to clear a path to your bed. What ends up happening for me is I work an extra 1.5 hours before finally giving in and doing the latter — e.g. stacking things all around just to temporarily clear them away. Then what was once a large, but manageable, project becomes that much larger of a project (and that much more spread out). Worst part, once the path to my bed is cleared, I lose the drive to start back up on said project. As such, what was once a full day project trying to be crammed into 2 hours becomes a full day project spread out over weeks of procrastination. Not good.

Maybe I'll learn my lesson for next time?

Dear blog,

It came to my attention that I have neglected you for almost four months now (four months?! where did the time go?). I have been busy with life, as they say. Although truth be told, I've come to the conclusion that people make time for what they want to do... so basically, you haven't been a priority in my life. Yes, I know...harsh, but also true. The problem, you see, is that I can never figure out what I want to write. I don't want to spill my guts to you, but I'm also not always clever or inspired; and so, random posts are your lot. There were fleeting moments when I missed you and thought about you. Moments I wanted to sign in and say hello, but hesitated. Will you forgive me?

I'm coming back. I really am. Soon...

Still friends?

Mmmm... yum!

I love cookbooks. Every time I go to a bookstore or to Costco I always check out the cookbooks. Every so often, I even buy one. The thing is, I'm starting to have an overabundance of one kind of cookbook: dessert/baking cookbooks.

There are so many cookbooks that have a little bit of everything in them, but I'm not the most adventurous eater and I've never been impressed by fancy lingo like: cranberry reduction etc. I tend to go with familiar and with what I'm most likely to actually make (i.e. I don't want to buy a cookbook where I won't use a big chunk of the recipes in the book). With baking cookbooks, I never run into that problem.

Cookies and cakes and crumbles and pies, loaves and biscuits and squares and muffins.... "Yum" to them all :)

Hello April

It's a beautiful day.

Time Traveling... Would you want to?

I'm halfway through The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. At this point, the book hasn't 'wowed' me, but it's been interesting enough to read. Who knows? The ending might knock my socks off. I'll reserve final opinions until then.

After 269 pages I still think there is some mysterious element that I'm not fully getting and that will be revealed by the book's end. So far the book has been completely about these characters, there is no real plot other than their love story. Given that, I'm wondering how things will wrap up. Something tragic perhaps? Something metaphorical? Something philosophical? Something mundane? I personally think they're headed for tragedy at the moment, but they may not end there. After all, the book jacket boasts it as an "original love story" (I would agreed) and "dizzyingly romantic" (umm? define 'dizzyingly').

 I do think it's well-written, but I'm not absorbed.

I've read a couple of other stories where characters have time traveled and I can't help thinking that Niffenegger's vision of time travel makes it seems like a burden, where you're unwillingly pulled from the present to seemingly random moments along your life continuum. While the other stories/visions I've read or seen also have an element of randomness (discounting Back to the Future ;) they also seemed a tad more romantic. Characters were pulled into the past to discover something or redeem a character flaw or it's where they find love. There was some stasis in the travel. They would be in the past for weeks at a time, but were only gone for moments in the present. I guess in both visions there is some heartbreak. You can't stay where you don't truly belong forever.

I like this song. Socratic rapping? Nice!

If today you could snap your fingers and be instantly transported anywhere...

...where would you go? What would you do?

Today I'm thinking a nice trip to some European museum, then strolling the streets in a good pair of running shoes, camera in hand (hello tourist!). I also want an ice cream cone. Is there anywhere in the world that's currently warm enough to justify eating an ice cream cone outside? If so, then I'd go there - at least temporarily.

Oh happy Monday :)

I dream of...

I've always thought it would be cool to find answers in my dreams. Sound dumb? Maybe, but even so, sometimes when I pray about things on my mind I think that maybe God will speak to me through my dreams. You know, give me a clear direction and answer about something.

But how do you know when your dream is telling you something and when it's merely a manifestation of things you're thinking about?

Distinguishing between the two would be key.

 

So, I don't know about you, but I don't take dreams as an answer...

(as much as I'd like to sometimes) 

Therefore I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Sky on fire

Photo taken on March 6, 2011

Sometimes a short thought packs a lot of punch. Today, David Benioff provides some food for thought

Talent must be a fanatical mistress. She's beautiful; when you're with her, people watch you, they notice. But she bangs on your door at odd hours, and she disappears for long stretches, and she has no patience for the rest of your existence; your wife, your children, your friends. She is the most thrilling evening of your week, but some day she will leave you for good. One night, after she's been gone for years, you will see her on the arm of a younger man, and she will pretend not to recognize you.

(From City of Thieves) 

***

There are a few moments in your life when you are truly and completely happy, and you remember to give thanks. Even as it happens you are nostalgic for the moment, you are tucking it away in your scrapbook.

(From When the Nines Roll Over: And Other Stories) 

***

The fire was silent, the little houses collapsing into the flames without complaint, flocks of sparks rising to the sky. At a distance it seemed beautiful, and I thought it was strange that powerful violence is often so pleasing to the eye... 

(From City of Thieves) 

It's amazing: the effect sunshine has on me

I feel so happy in this moment. Nothing spectacular has happened. Nothing out of the ordinary has interrupted my standard day. I just feel so... happy! Light. Lifted. Optimistic.

These types of moments are gifts. They tend to come on fast and are fleeting. It's like when you hear a song you love on the radio -a nice upbeat tune, and you start to bop along and your chest feels so full and you feel invincible for the length of that song. You see beyond prior obstacles and feel like you can do anything: life is full of possibility and you are both excited and content.

Do you ever have these moments?

I do... and usually the sun is shining. Coincidence?

We are the Beast that eclipses our own Beauty

What makes someone beautiful?

If you look closely enough, can you find beauty in any face?

I've been thinking about how much effort individuals pour into their appearances. I was thinking about how we fool ourselves into thinking that we need all of these things/products to be beautiful, and if someone else finds us beautiful, we will be happy.

I'm using "we" here as a general inclusive term. You may not agree with these sentiments.

I don't find anything wrong with wanting to be beautiful. I feel it myself. Some days I am happy with my appearance, other days... not so much. I think all this is natural.

I just dislike when I see people discount their unique God-given beauty because it doesn't conform to cultural standards. I dislike when people fight aging with drastic measures. When young women go through surgery to change their bodies. I dislike when 'how someone looks' determines how they're treated, how they feel about themselves, how they treat others, how they treat themselves.

I understand the feelings, but I just wish we didn't get so caught up in chasing beauty. I don't know if I'm even articulating my feelings properly. It's a big issue that ties into larger, cultural processes. I'm just trying to work it out. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I truly believe that everyone has beauty in them. I just think that we have a warped way of understanding and recognizing beauty. Of seeing and valuing beauty --in others, in ourselves.

It's that time of year

I have a bad track record winning anything from this contest, but last night the odds were in my favour. I won a free coffee. Yup. Funny how a small thing like that makes me so happy.

It's the little things in life, right? :)

Yay books

Libraries are awesome. I have always loved libraries- I love books! This love doesn't always translate into me reading said books, but I love them just the same :)

It is sort of funny that I have a whole stack of books coming into the library for me when I still have so many unread books on my bookshelf and a pile of books still untouched from my last visit to the library... Hmm. I may have a problem- haha. New books are just so exciting! I can't resist.

Happy reading to me :)

Do you ever look at a photo and wish you could jump back into that captured moment?

I was looking at photos tonight. I spent close to an hour scrolling through digital albums, previewing ones that stood out. The smiles, the wacky faces, the scowls,  both candid and posed... I was overcome with happiness and a hint of longing. I wanted to recapture a few of those memories. I wanted to retake those trips. I wanted to laugh at those jokes again.

But you can't relive the moments, only the memories. You can't recapture what's depicted in photographs, only make new memories.

Bummer.

I guess I need a new adventure! :)

Realism in films: Winter's Bone

I watched this movie last night and I have to say, it was really good. It's a character-driven movie. It's a story that builds. The acting is phenomenal. Their eyes are unflinching. You truly believe that you're peering into someone's life.  It is not a happy tale. It is rough watching, in many ways because your heart breaks for these people and the situation.

I just requested the book that the film was based on from the library. I can't wait to read it.

The voice propelling the song

I'm started to really appreciate distinctive voices. One thing you notice after watching too many seasons of American Idol is how valuable it is to have a recognizable voice. There are a lot of pretty voices and talented singers, but outside of a hit song, you wouldn't necessarily know who is singing. Now pair a unique voice with the right personality and you just might have a star.

Below are just some of the voices I instantly know when I hear them. Who would you add to the list?

Left to right, top to bottom: Natalie Merchant, Rod Stewart, Bono, Tracy Chapman, Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Alanis Morissette, Stevie Wonder, Natasha Bedingfield, Barry White, Norah Jones, Sting, Johnny Cash, Kelly Clarkson, Eminem, Elvis, Avril Lavigne, Barbra Streisand, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra, Stevie Nicks, Aaron Neville, Louis Armstrong, Barry Gibb, and Taylor Swift.

*Sans photo: I was just reminded of Phil Collins and Elton John -- add them to my list!

Cold toes, nose, and fingers

I'm shivering here at my computer. I should go find my slippers and a sweater, but I don't want to move. It's stupid really. I know what I have to do to fix the situation, but I don't want to do it.

Funny how little reflections like this so often mirror other battles in our lives.

Why do we put so much energy into fighting what we know we should do rather than just doing it?

Are you an open book?

"I'm an open book

Oh darling, don't you know I mean it?"

These lyrics floated into my ears as I listened to Elizabeth and the Catapult's song, aptly titled, "Open Book". My first thought was "I'm not an open book" but then I thought, I like the idea that someday I might be with someone.

A collage of pictures in colours that match my mood

I didn't get enough sleep last night so it's making me feel introspective. My favourite thing to do when I'm feeling this way is to listen to pretty, soft music and write in my journal.

For a laugh

This group is really... awesome!

Thanks to my friend for introducing these videos to me. I've watched them a few times each and they never lose their punch. So funny!!!



 How did I not realize that all those songs sound eerily similar? Hmm...

The Axis of Awesome: How to Write a Love Song - watch more funny videos
 
Hilarious!

When I find myself in times of struggles

It can be overwhelming to look for a job. It can be tiring to write applications and cover letters. It can be difficult to maintain interest in the process, and only too easy to doubt yourself and your abilities. I am not immune to these feelings. As it were, I was frustrated one afternoon and I started complaining. In response, my dad said to me: be thankful that there are at least jobs that you can apply for.

His challenge that I change my attitude was humbling.

Now when I start slipping into self-pity I try and catch it early on and remind myself that it could be worse. I have been blessed in my life and I am grateful.

Attitude may not be everything, but it is something - and something important at that...

On the Cusp of Spring

 I can't believe it's already March!  The sun is shining and I find that I'm a tad impatient for spring to reveal itself in all its glory. I'm an all-seasons gal through-and-through; I love the changing weather, but when it hits that in-between winter and spring time, my heart feels lifted by the burgeoning promise of spring.

I'm excited for the views of green grass and pavement, flowers and light coats... in other words, I'm starting to mentally rush the seasons!

This year is a big one for my family. There are a lot of big events and landmarks coming up in the next few months. As much as I want to jump right to them, I'm making an effort to slow down. Life is so much more than the big events that mark the weeks of common living. Life is everything in between, leading up to and including those moments.

I was told that based on how we experience time, we experience half of our life by the time we're 20. Remember how long the school year felt as a child? Remember the summer days that dragged on? Now consider how you blink and it's 2 p.m., you sneeze and it's next week.... where did the time go? Our perception of time shifts as we age. Next month isn't a lifetime away anymore. In reflecting on this, I've decided to make a conscious effort to slow down and enjoy the time I have. I'm trying not to jump ahead in my mind, but to instead enjoy the everyday moments that make up my days: a cup of tea, stopping to listen to a song, taking my dog for a walk, having a good talk with my mom, writing this blog entry...

So here's to spring and the time leading up to it!

Zigzags have their benefits (a.k.a. we all have our own path to walk)

Last night I was struck for a moment by this overwhelming feeling that I screwed up... I chose the wrong major in university, I didn't look into opportunities early enough, I took the wrong path, I missed my chance, and it's too late to change course now.

After a couple of moments, I realized how useless this sort of thinking is (although I fall prey to it more often than I'd care to admit). Doesn't my attitude decide my limits?

What do I want to do? How do I get from point (A) to point (B)? Do I want it enough to put in the effort?

I need to think more in terms of possibilities, than in terms of roadblocks. I am the one who is holding myself back.

In getting from point A to point B, you might not walk a linear path, but consider the views and experiences along the way...

Monkey in the... Wait, I'm the baby!

Although I'm the youngest in my family, I've always taken the mediator role. In most senses of the word, I am in the middle. While my sisters are more polarized in their tastes and views, I often like both or see both of  their reasoning. It is interesting to me that I find this both a point of pride and of alienation.

I used to be insecure about my inability to choose (I sincerely like both! Candy AND chocolate; Clubs AND sports; Rom/Coms AND Mysteries etc.) I once got called out by a guy who told me that I'm always on the fence about things. This was startling to me because I hadn't ever thought of it that plainly. You see, I'm not unable to make decisions, rather it is just harder for me to choose than some. Often it's deciding between two 'likes'. So while some may say 'on the fence' or 'indecisive', others say 'well-rounded' or 'able to see both sides of the point' (thanks mom!)

Everything in moderation though. Life is about choices, and I've gotten better at making them along the way. Even if you like both, you can't have it all. Eventually you have to choose.

I'd say 'welcome' but that sounds so cliché

Hello Blog World.

I considered making a theme for this blog, but couldn't completely decide what my intentions are with it. I could just say I like to write (which is true). I could also add that I enjoy reading blogs and wanted to start fresh from the one I started last year (which is also true). Instead, I will just say that I will type things that come to mind, things about my life, things that catch my attention, things I wonder about... Maybe you'll check back and see if you like what I have to say. If not, no hard feelings.

Welcome?